She knew she had pushed her luck when had mentioned the new plaques in the old concentration camps with their new numbers.By CitizenFitz
August 17, 2010
Britain:
When traveling in Britain be careful while using public transportation. Stay in the same seat! Changing seats in Britain is viewed as evidence of a crime.
ALWAYS check what is permissible speech in France, Germany, Austria et al, before opening your mouth.
British authorities never know whats going on! They are not sure of their own laws. They will throw you in prison while jabbering endlessly about whether you have committed a crime or not.
While travelling through France always remember to keep your mouth shut about certain aspects of history. Permitted words do include, "there's... no... proof... Hitler... killed... six... million... Jews...."
But be very careful how you string them together. The French are pretty excitable folks!
Make sure your math is impeccable: 6,000,000 - 1 = 3 to five years.
The best way to travel through these countries is on tip toes with your head on a swivel.
Speak only in whispers ~ even with close friends in their living rooms.
Always have someone watching your back.
You may feel as if you're being watched.
You are!
Be discreet ~ very discreet.
See Germany below.
Bitterly she turned away thinking, 'I should have given a bigger donation!"
Germany:
The best way to travel through Germany is at 500 miles an hour, at 35,000 feet, with a paper bag over your head and your lips sewed shut.
Get in and get out as fast as you can.
DO NOT THINK!
Thinking is a crime in Germany. It always has been. Don't let anyone see facial expressions that hint you are thinking.
NEVER use terms like hmmm... uhhh... or, ahhhh.... You will be reported to the proper authorities.
German authorities don't like thinkers at all and throw them, and their lawyers, into prison at every opportunity.
Do not use words like "truth", "integrity" and "justice" at your thought crimes trial. This will only upset them even more. Words like those are not permitted in Germany ~ especially in court.
If you do find yourself in trouble, say:
August 17, 2010
Britain:
When traveling in Britain be careful while using public transportation. Stay in the same seat! Changing seats in Britain is viewed as evidence of a crime.
ALWAYS check what is permissible speech in France, Germany, Austria et al, before opening your mouth.
British authorities never know whats going on! They are not sure of their own laws. They will throw you in prison while jabbering endlessly about whether you have committed a crime or not.
A sure fire way out of any strife is to apologize to the local Jewish community. A donation will be expected.France:
While travelling through France always remember to keep your mouth shut about certain aspects of history. Permitted words do include, "there's... no... proof... Hitler... killed... six... million... Jews...."
But be very careful how you string them together. The French are pretty excitable folks!
Make sure your math is impeccable: 6,000,000 - 1 = 3 to five years.
A sure fire way out of trouble is to apologize to the local Jewish community. A donation will be expected.BeNeLux:
The best way to travel through these countries is on tip toes with your head on a swivel.
Speak only in whispers ~ even with close friends in their living rooms.
Always have someone watching your back.
You may feel as if you're being watched.
You are!
Be discreet ~ very discreet.
A sure fire way for getting out of trouble is to apologize to the local Jewish community. A donation will be expected.Austria:
See Germany below.
Bitterly she turned away thinking, 'I should have given a bigger donation!"Germany:
The best way to travel through Germany is at 500 miles an hour, at 35,000 feet, with a paper bag over your head and your lips sewed shut.
Get in and get out as fast as you can.
DO NOT THINK!
Thinking is a crime in Germany. It always has been. Don't let anyone see facial expressions that hint you are thinking.
NEVER use terms like hmmm... uhhh... or, ahhhh.... You will be reported to the proper authorities.
German authorities don't like thinkers at all and throw them, and their lawyers, into prison at every opportunity.
Do not use words like "truth", "integrity" and "justice" at your thought crimes trial. This will only upset them even more. Words like those are not permitted in Germany ~ especially in court.
If you do find yourself in trouble, say:
"Hitler gassed... electrocuted... made soap outta... barbecued... raped... lamp-shaded... boiled in oil... nuked... six million Jews".This can sway judges and shorten prison sentences. But ya' gotta' be able to say it with a straight face. Good luck with that!
A sure fire way outta any strife is to apologize to the local Jewish community. A donation will be expected.
I know your site is not meant to be comedy central but you do have a knack of finding posts that raise a smile. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteC
Babe, things are just so horrific you have to find the humour where you can. I loved Fitz's written part but had a devil of a time for images... so... when thinking Zionist, the Inquisition is a great substitute.
ReplyDeleteAnd I do have an extremely black warped twisted sense of humour but how else can we survive the absurdities of life?
Hilarious. I'll try to add one here for the EU: avoid using an American passport or accent. Say something demeaning about Bush if you can't avoid either of these.
ReplyDeleteTHanks good laugh.