DO YOU EVER WONDER?
Ever wonder about why our economy is in
trouble? How can so many people can be in so much debt at the same time? Does
it seem strange to you no matter how hard one works, and in spite of all the
advances in society, most hard working people cannot escape the treadmill
of perpetual debt?
Why are so many families losing their homes to
foreclosure? Why are many households dependent upon credit cards to
supplement their income? Why does it take TWO spouses to maintain a household
when it used to take just one? Why have so many retirement savings been wiped
out? Why do prices always creep up?
Did you know that close to 1/3 of
all income taxes are consumed just to pay interest on the Federal Debt? (National
Debt currently 16 TRILLION DOLLARS,
or about $135,000 per household.)
Think about it. Every
penny that you pay in income tax from January 1 ~ April 30 is
consumed just to pay interest, much of it to foreign banking families! And let's not forget the
Government's unfunded future liabilities, estimated at 75 TRILLION. (An additional $600,000+ per
household.)
Add those staggering sums to your
mortgage debt, car loan debt, student loan debt, credit card debt, State
debt, County debt, City/Town debt, small business debt, big business debt,
and you will see that the total of
these debts actually exceeds (BY FAR) the amount of money supply in
circulation.
So, how can such astronomical debt ever be
repaid?
Well, if you haven't figured it out yet ~ IT
CAN'T. The only way to service just
the interest on these monstrous debts is to constantly take on new debts.
Finally, on top of all your Federal, State,
gasoline, and local taxes, (30% ~ 40%
of your gross income) and on top of your personal debt service burden (another 25% ~ 50%), there's
this thing called "inflation", or “the cost of living." What
exactly is "the cost of living?" What causes it? Why does a dollar
buy less and less each year while wages stay flat?
Is the stress of perpetual debt and
rising prices keeping you up at night? How many strokes, heart attacks, and even
suicides are induced by financial stress each year? Money and
debt may even have led to your drinking problem, or perhaps even to depression. Debt
may have been the underlying cause of your divorce or that of some
couple that you know.
You know in your gut that something
isn't right in this country. But you don't have the
"Economics education" to figure it out. It all seems too
complicated for you to put your finger on, so you just keep slaving away
to pay interest and taxes as your dollar buys less and less. All you can do
is keep working like a dog and leave the matter to the Wall Street
"experts" and politicians to handle for you.
But it's all quite simple really. So
simple in fact, even a dummy
can understand it when it is broken down to basic elements.
So then, how exactly did you all become
such debt/tax/inflation slaves? Well, I'll let you in on my little
secret. You will be amazed
at how easy it is to understand.
My name is Mortimer M. Moneybags III and this is the
true story of how I bankrupted and enslaved my hometown of
Tomatoville, USA:
THE SETUP
One night, Bill, Frank, John, and Mike came
over to my place for a friendly game of poker. My four neighbors are all
prosperous tomato farmers. Tomatoes actually serve as the currency of Tomatoville,
USA.
Before starting, the five of us agree to each
put up 10 tomatoes as our "risk capital." That's a total of 50
tomatoes. (Gross Domestic
Product ~ GDP)
Play begins and we realize that trading tomatoes during our bets is awkward. I suggest that we utilize paper notes to represent our tomatoes instead. Because I hold a degree from Harvard, all agree that I should act as "Central Banker".
Play begins and we realize that trading tomatoes during our bets is awkward. I suggest that we utilize paper notes to represent our tomatoes instead. Because I hold a degree from Harvard, all agree that I should act as "Central Banker".
We place our tomatoes in the center of
the table and I print 50 paper notes with the face of Tomatoville’s founder on
them (corresponding to the 50 total tomatoes, 10 notes for each player).
Each paper note therefore represents 1 tomato ~ simple. (Sound money/hard money/gold
standard)
As play resumes, I have an unseen advantage over my guests. At
30 minute intervals, I repeatedly excuse myself for a "bathroom
break." (Fed Meetings)
During this time, I'm actually sneaking into my bedroom and
printing up more 1 tomato notes
(Fiat money).
The Money Magician creates money out of thin air
Upon returning, I gradually gamble and inject ever increasing
amounts of notes (liquidity)
into the game (the
economy). By midnight, the
original 50 notes have increased to 500 total notes.
.
.
After ebbs and flows, the game was remarkably
even at midnight. The five of us, who had each started out with just 10 notes
apiece, now held 100 notes apiece.
As you might expect, due our newly found "wealth", the size of each player's bets increased in direct proportion to the growth in the supply of Tomato Notes. (Price inflation).
But the same 50 tomatoes ~ the true intrinsic value of the game ~ (GDP) remain in
the jackpot.
Because we are getting so "rich" from the game, I propose that instead of ending the game, we leave everything as is and resume play the following month.
Because we are getting so "rich" from the game, I propose that instead of ending the game, we leave everything as is and resume play the following month.
"Why don't you
fellows spend some of your Tomato Notes, and save some to invest in next
month's play? Tell the shopkeepers that each Tomato Note represents one tomato
that is still sitting on this table. They'll accept the Notes as if they were
actual tomatoes."
"Great idea,
Mortimer! The paper is so much more convenient to trade than the
tomatoes." replied Mike.
All agree to suspend play and resume next
month. Before they leave, I announce that I'm cashing in 20 of my 100 notes in
order to make tomato sauce the following day.
At the original ratio of 1 note to 1 tomato, my 20 notes trade
for 20 tomatoes. I have doubled my original "investment" of 10
tomatoes (Profit Taking), and still have 80 paper notes with which to resume
the game next month. There are now only 30 total tomatoes remaining on the table.
As I expected, my friends have no intention of cashing in any of their "winnings" because the returns from the game are so high. They each hold 100 notes and really believe that their original 10 tomatoes have yielded a 10 to 1 return from playing the game (Bull Market, Irrational Exuberance).
As I expected, my friends have no intention of cashing in any of their "winnings" because the returns from the game are so high. They each hold 100 notes and really believe that their original 10 tomatoes have yielded a 10 to 1 return from playing the game (Bull Market, Irrational Exuberance).
"Let's go shopping!"
When the players explain to the town merchants that the Tomato
Notes represent actual tomatoes that are stored at my house, the merchants
gladly accept the notes as if they were actual tomatoes. During the ensuing
month, the players spend many of their notes and take out various loans as
well.
Bill buys his wife a new sports car by putting down 25 Tomato
Notes and taking a loan for the balance. (Detroit prospers.)
.
.
Frank takes out a small business loan to open
up that restaurant he's always dreamed about (Job Creation).
John puts down a 50 Note down payment and
signs a contract for a new home mortgage (Housing Boom).
.
.
Mike spends 40 of his Tomato Notes and also
goes on a credit card shopping spree (Consumer Confidence).
The local bank manager also trusts that the Tomato Note income of the borrowers represents true wealth, so he honestly believes that he is not engaged in risky lending when he lends out his depositors tomatoes to the successful poker winners. (Sub Prime mortgages, No Money Down Mortgages)
The local bank manager also trusts that the Tomato Note income of the borrowers represents true wealth, so he honestly believes that he is not engaged in risky lending when he lends out his depositors tomatoes to the successful poker winners. (Sub Prime mortgages, No Money Down Mortgages)
The bank then sells some of the loan
notes to The Tomato Street investment houses. Blinded by greed, and ignorant of
"the big picture", Tomato Street portfolio managers believe that the
debts are solid investments for their clients. (Secondary Market, Mortgage
Backed Securities)
So not only do the four players believe that
they are prospering, but the businessmen that are now selling more goods to
the wealthy poker players believe that they are earning more
Tomatoes also! They too increase their personal spending and
borrowing accordingly.
(Multiplier Effect)
As the new "prosperity" makes its way through the town, the prices of goods and services also begin to rise - exactly like the size of the bets in the poker game had risen, and exactly for the same reason!Everyone thinks they are getting "richer", but their new wealth is artificial and temporary.
Me? I just rub my hands in glee and laugh at
how foolish these people are.
The economy of Tomatoville is BOOMING ~ or so it seems.
THE STING
The Poker players and I meet again at my place
and pick up where we left off the month before. The mood is jovial
as the players look forward to another round of "earnings". After a
few hours of more silent note injection, 1000 notes now
circulate evenly among the players (200
each). My guests boast among themselves about all the new toys they
have recently charged. They aren't worried about the debts they are incurring
because, if necessary, they can always cash in their abundant paper notes for tomatoes
(Equity) and pay everything off
free and clear.
John then mentions that he has noticed that
the town merchants have increased the prices of their goods and services.
"Have you guys
noticed how expensive milk and eggs have gotten lately?" John asks.
"Yes! I
noticed that too." said Bill. "And a
cup of coffee now costs 2 tomato notes! Why is that Mort?"
Anticipating that this question would arise, I
launch into my cleverly planned explanation:
"Well gentlemen, there are three underlying causes behind the price inflation you are seeing at the town stores. First, when the town merchants learned of your new prosperity, they increased their prices because they knew you could now afford to pay more. That's typical capitalist price-gouging."
"Those greedy
bastards!" shouted Frank.
I continue:
"Yes. Greed is a main factor. But our shopkeepers aren't the only greedy businessmen. The second reason for this inflation is that the folks over in Oilville have got us over a barrel. They too have increased their oil prices. Because all of the goods we buy have to be shipped by train and truck, the increase in transportation costs gets passed on to you the consumer."
Mike leaps to his feet and angrily
declares: "I say we bomb
Oilville back to the Stone Age and just take their damn oil!"
"I don't know
about going to war, but we definitely need to develop solar and wind energy
here in Tomatoville." adds Frank.
"What's the third
reason for this inflation?" asks John.
To which I reply:
"The third reason isn't related to greed. It is due to the prosperity of the people over in Potatoville. As Potatoville develops its economy, they grow and sell more potatoes. This increases their own demand for oil. That increased demand pushes oil prices up. Again, because our economy runs on energy, Potatoville's prosperity is contributing to the inflation you are seeing here in Tomatoville."
To my amazement, the men, acting as if they
have been enlightened by some deep philosophical discourse, all nod their
heads in agreement at the utter nonsense I have just spewed. We then
resume the game.
After a few more hours of play, I decide to
trade in 20 more paper notes for 20 more tomatoes (Insider Trading). My friends ridicule me. "Mortimer! Why would you trade in notes for tomatoes when we are
all making so much money?" they ask.
.
"I just want to lock in some of my winnings now. You never know if fortunes may turn." I replied.
I have now "earned" a total of 40 of the original 50 tomatoes from the table, quadrupling my initial investment. Whereas my scam was not obvious before, my victims now clearly see that the true value of the tomato jackpot has diminished (Recession, Bear Market). They each started with 10 tomatoes. So how come they hold hundreds of notes when there are only 10 tomatoes left for the four of them to divide?
.
"I just want to lock in some of my winnings now. You never know if fortunes may turn." I replied.
I have now "earned" a total of 40 of the original 50 tomatoes from the table, quadrupling my initial investment. Whereas my scam was not obvious before, my victims now clearly see that the true value of the tomato jackpot has diminished (Recession, Bear Market). They each started with 10 tomatoes. So how come they hold hundreds of notes when there are only 10 tomatoes left for the four of them to divide?
Bill panics. "I'm trading in!" he declares. He dumps all 200 of his
notes and attempts to grab the remaining 10 tomatoes (stock market crash, bank run)."
Not so fast
Bill!" declares Frank. "If you get
those remaining tomatoes there will be none left for us!"
"Oh, my God,
Mortimer! How am I going to pay off my debts to the town's merchants? What's
happened here?" Mike asks.
My expression turns somber as I reply:
"Damn! I was afraid this might happen. Because we were doing so well, the game "overheated". The Tomato Note fell against the tomato. When that happens, the cost of playing goes up (Inflation) and then a contraction occurs (Recession). It's a natural cycle."
"So how do we
allocate the remaining tomatoes?" John asks.
"Simple." I replied. "It's called currency devaluation. You four each have 200 notes in hand, and I have 160. That's a total of 960 notes in circulation (Money Supply). There are 10 tomatoes remaining. Divide the 960 notes by the remaining 10 tomatoes and the new cost of a tomato is therefore 96 notes (Hyper-Inflation). That means that your 200 notes can buy back 2 of the remaining 10 tomatoes for each of you."
The paper Tomato Note currency has lost its
purchasing power (Inflation,
Bubble Bursting)
and my 4 neighbors have each lost 8 of the
original 10 tomatoes they had once owned. I walk away with 42 of the
original 50 tomatoes. (REAL WEALTH)
.
.
***AUTHOR'S NOTE***
If the players had
added 950 tomatoes to the original 50 (GDP growth), there could be no bubble and the Tomato Note would
have retained its 1-1 value. (1000
notes / 1000 tomatoes) Even in a crooked monetary system,
increased production "props up" a debased currency. But the
people will not benefit from the increased production because the extra wealth
is stolen by Mortimer's printing press.
Mortimer
can always create new bubbles by printing up even more notes and then
being the first one to "cash out." In bubble economics the
first sellers to get out of the game (stock market, real estate market etc), will profit unfairly by
receiving inflated "fake" value for their stocks, homes,
currency etc. When the game then adjusts to the burst bubble value, the
remaining sellers get less.
(Examples: Investors who sold their stocks when the Dow Jones was at
14,000. Homeowners who sold in 2006 at the peak of the real estate bubble.
Investors who in 2007 exchanged US dollars for gold or other hard
commodities.)
An honest money system keeps
the growth of money supply proportionate to the growth of goods
and services (GDP) for a 1-1 ratio. (No inflation / no deflation) But when money is
printed "out of thin air" (as
opposed to gold or silver which have intrinsic value due to rarity
and beauty ) Mortimer is always ahead of the players, especially when he starts lending notes to the Mayor and
local bank, at interest. When that happens, all of
Tomatoville becomes Mortimer's poker game.
But the real problem is that the four suckers,
believing they were "wealthy", had charged up a lifestyle that
they can no longer sustain.
That car Bill bought for his wife?
That car Bill bought for his wife?
Can you say "Repo Man?"
Franks new restaurant?
Franks new restaurant?
The chefs and some waiters will have to be
laid off (Increased
Unemployment).
Mike's credit card bills?
Mike's credit card bills?
Soon to be delinquent and destroying his
credit rating. (Credit
Crunch, Local Bank Losses)
John's new home?
John's new home?
Foreclosure, followed by divorce (Housing Slump).
The merchants who had sold or loaned to them
will also be negatively affected. Anyone who had dealings with the free
spending Poker players is also holding devalued notes and possibly
carrying bad debts. The artificial debt & inflation prosperity had
spread like viruses, and now the malinvestment balloon has to painfully
deflate.
The bewildered and frightened town
folk don't understand how this happened. Because of my Ivy League
credentials, coupled with the fact that I have accumulated so much wealth, they
look to me for expert advice and answers.
I explain to them that we are in a liquidity crisis:
I explain to them that we are in a liquidity crisis:
"Friends! This is part of the natural business cycle. Sure, you have suffered a short term loss, but in the long term we all come out OK as the markets recover. You saw how much wealth you had earned. If you get out of the game you'll be locking in your losses."
"The market has hit bottom. Truth be told, you guys helped create this mess yourselves with your reckless consumer borrowing, and the local bank should have known better than to lend its depositors tomatoes out so carelessly. (Blaming the Symptoms, Instead Of The Cause) This is the problem with free market capitalism sometimes.""I will advise Mayor Bulshitz to institute new legislation, a huge stimulus package, and more regulation over private enterprise (New Deal). We shall create a social safety net in order to protect you from future naturally occurring business cycles." (Great Society, War On Poverty)"Greedy Corporations, town shopkeepers, and employers big & small created this mess and it must never happen again. (Class Warfare) We will impose strict price controls to fight the inflation that the greedy, price-gouging shopkeepers caused.""We will tax the rich! (Federal Income Tax, established in 1913) Free health care! Free education! (Socialism) Liberty! Equality! Fraternity! Change we can believe in! Hope! Yes we can! Workers unite! You have nothing to lose but the chains which bind you!""Don't worry about the town's Constitution. It's an outdated document written by a bunch of dead white guys. If we are to fix this mess, then we must ignore its limitations on progressive government action."
***AUTHOR'S NOTE***
To feed the
insatiable debt monster, and to maintain confidence in his notes, Mortimer must
have a perpetually growing GDP (more
tomatoes). If not, runaway debt and inflation will cause the
economy to implode sooner, rather than later. GDP growth is fueled
by "consumer
spending"(consumption) and the constant borrowing which
enables it.
.
.
This is why
economists, politicians, and other assorted lunatics are so obsessed
with constant GDP growth..
If you give me power, I will take care of you.""The tomato must no longer serve as the backing for our currency. To meet the liquidity needs of our new system, it is imperative that we get this town off of that antiquated, "barbaric fruit" Standard (Hard Money) and transition to my expertly managed paper currency." (Fiat Money)"As far as the poker markets go, now is the time to play even more aggressively (Buy Low). We'll meet again next month. In the meantime, work harder and bring more tomatoes to the next game, I'll print more notes to increase liquidity and induce the banks to loosen up credit once again. (Pump priming, quantitative easing)"If the local banks need to make more loans, I'll lower their reserve requirements so that they can lend (create) money that they don't have. As long as too many depositors don't make withdrawals all at the same time, like you fellows did in our poker game, they'll be none the wiser." (Fractional Reserve Banking)Even if there is a bank run, or if the bank's loan demand exceeds it's reserve requirement, I'll act as the "lender of last resort" (Federal Reserve, established in 1913) and lend (create money for) to the local bank at interest (Bank Takeover, Discount Window).I will also lend to (create money for) the Mayor's office (Open Market Operations, Purchase Of T-Bills, Stimulus), and bail out (create money for) the Tomato Street Brokerage houses that I deem to be "too big to fail" (Goldman Sachs, JP Morgan Bailout Package).
Let the good times roll
.
.
I continue:
"Finally, I will organize an emergency meeting of the Mayors, Finance Ministers, and Note Printers of the European towns (G-20, "World Stage"). Now is not the time for isolationism. (Independence, sovereignty) Global problems demand global solutions! (IMF, World Bank, WTO, UN)."
"We will recover. So keep spending, secure in the knowledge that the best and the brightest of the world community are on the job. We have nothing to fear but fear itself!"
***AUTHOR'S
NOTE***
The "business
cycle" is very simple. When the rate of growth in money supply (Debt
Supply) exceeds the rate of growth in the general economy (GDP),
the excess "money" has to go somewhere. It creates an illusion of
prosperity. Artificial bubbles
will form either in housing, stocks, currency, etc. Eventually the market
always corrects for these phony excesses and the bubbles burst. (Just like the poker game.)
We the Central Bankers own it all!
THE WRAPUP
The men leave my place full of hope,
grateful that a financial "expert" and a caring leader
are in charge of the recovery plan. Incredibly, I have convinced them that it
was free enterprise, tomato currency, and limited government (the three main pillars of their original prosperity), that caused their problems.
Instead of seeing
my inflationary system, my perpetual interest demands, and the
Mayor's out-of-control spending and high taxes as the causes of
their lower standard of living, they actually worship Mayor Bulshitz as a savior. Bulshitz gives
them all the socialistic "free" goodies that our
destructive schemes made unaffordable for them in the first place.
First we crush the owners and the workers of
the private economy. Then, Bulshitz rides in like a knight on a white horse,
offering welfare schemes to save them.
The simple townsfolk never stop to think that were it not for us, they would have the income and capital to take care of themselves!
When Bulshitz runs short of money (as he
always does), I'm there to lend it to his office...at interest of course.
Damn I love this job!
My European colleagues and forefathers have been running this
scam for centuries. During this past century, we've been working to
diversify our operations to include control of the world's natural
resources.
Whenever some independent-minded foreign mayor
resists our game of Banking & Resource Monopoly, (Iraq, Venezuela, Iran), our friendly mayors
(the "free
world") will team up to bring that town back in line (sanctions, UN resolutions, spreading
democracy, CIA coups, wars).
Perhaps one day we may even merge our operations under a single
global umbrella? (New
World Order, G-20, Global New Deal, Global Warming scare)
I also play golf with the owners and
publishers of the local "liberal" newspaper as well as with
those from the "conservative" media. Through my
close friendship with them, I am able to influence the editorial
and news content of both.
It's sort of a "good ole boys"
networking thing. As long as they don't expose my operation, I am happy to
allow the two parties and their sheep-like followers to amuse themselves with
the daily drama of those superficial popularity contests known as
"political campaigns."
By having the "left" and the
"right" beat each other up, the townsfolk are kept divided and
diverted from my actions. In the end, it is I who wins EVERY election.
Professor Pointyhead peddles Mortimer's
bullshit
While Mortimer's Media glorifies his paid
agents
My "philanthropic endowments" to
Tomatoville University guarantee that my twisted version of economics
is taught to the students. Awestruck by my immense wealth and prestige, most, but
not all, of the economists at
"TU" are eating out of my hands. So, when the town folk
read The Tomato Street Journal, or hear Professor Pointyhead speak on
TV, my false theories are reinforced in their minds. (Keynesian
Theory, "Chicago School")
All, except for John ~ the critical thinker of T-ville. He figures it all out and embarks upon a one man Internet crusade to expose me, calling me a "counterfeiter", "usurer", "insider trader", "warmonger", and "The Shadow Mayor."
"John is Baaaaaad
My fellow Country Club members from the
media convince everyone that John is "paranoid", and an
"extremist" who is a mentally unstable "conspiracy
theorist" and potential "domestic terrorist."
Most of the town folks defend my intellect and
character, and disassociate themselves from John. The others are too
burned out by the hustle of life to even make the time
to study politics and economics. Eventually, John is
denied access to The Tomato Street Journal and throws his hands up in
frustration.
Tomatoville is deeply in debt in to
me because the massive police force and the "safety net" programs (that my destructive monetary schemes
necessitated) are very expensive! I've got so much dirt
on Mayor Bulshitz, that if he dares to either reintroduce the tomato
standard, or if he decides to print interest free
currency proportionate to the amount of real goods and services in the
town, my newspaper friends and slick TNN anchormen can ruin him.
***AUTHOR'S NOTE***
A typical example of
the incestuous old boy's network that exists between the Wall Street,
Washington DC, Central Banking, and corporate media elite is the case of
international banker, Eugene Meyer.
WALL STREET:
Meyer got his start as an investment banker with the firm of
Lazard-Freres. He became a wealthy speculator and earned a seat on the
New York Stock Exchange. WASHINGTON:
Meyer served as head of the War Finance Corporation under President
Woodrow Wilson during World War I. CENTRAL BANKING:
President Hoover later named Meyer as Chairman of the Federal Reserve in 1930,
which he chaired until 1933. After World War II, President Truman appointed him
to head the World Bank. MEDIA:Meyer bought the Washington Post in
1933 (Arguably America's most
influential newspaper). The Post also owns Newsweek.
Upon Meyer's
death, control of The Post passed to his daughter, Katherine Meyer Graham.
Today, The Post is run by Katherine's son, Donald Graham.
Below: "All in the
family." The Meyer-Grahams 100 year old influence includes the
White House, the FED, The World Bank, The Washington Post, and Newsweek
Magazine.
Newsweek OPENLY promotes socialism
But Mayor Bulshitz, as well as his rivals from the other Party, are all very easy to get along with. Most politicians are just ambitious liars who only care about getting re-elected. My printer helps cover the huge budget deficits generated by their vote-buying welfare schemes and their endless foreign wars. One hand washes the other. It doesn't serve the insatiable ambitions of the local politicians to alienate a well connected "bi-partisan" donor like me.
Every few years, for public show, Mayor
Bulshitz gets to nominate a printing "Chairman"
from my list of preferred professors. Because of this "dog and
pony show", most readers of The Tomato Street Journal believe that the
central banking operation is regulated by the Mayor's office. It's not.
.
.
In reality, it is a private cartel, owned
and operated by my banking associates and me. It is only our cartel that gets
to print (or
E-mail) the
actual money supply, and then inject it at will into the government
treasury (FED purchase of T-bills)
and
banking systems (FED
loans to member banks, lower reserve requirements), as we see fit.
Because debt is the actual currency, you can
never stay out of debt. The total of all
debt and interest owed always exceeds the total money supply.
So you see, this debt based currency system is actually nothing but a massive pyramid scheme. We international banking and media kingpins sit on the top. Our wholly owned politicians, professors, & reporters sit on the levels below. While you worker bees are stuck on the bottom levels ~ toiling away to perpetually support the crushing weight of our fraudulent structure.
It's like a game of musical chairs, where
the number of players always exceeds the amount of chairs. I start
and stop the music at my pleasure as you exhaust yourselves running around in
circles for my amusement. I stimulate the "booms" (Blowing Bubbles), and the
"busts" (LETTING
SOME AIR OUT), profiting from both.
Now you know the secrets of my success and
power. You're probably wondering why I would reveal the truth and indict myself
like this. Right?
It's simple. It's because I do not respect you. I know that no matter how badly I screw you ~ no matter how much I steal from your kids' mouths ~ you won't do a damn thing about it.
It would never even cross your mind to take
the personal initiative to spread this story around to your friends and family.
If everyone who read my confession passed it on to 10 others, my game would be
up in no time. But I know you won't do that.
As long as there is a ballgame or a reality TV
show to entertain you ~ as long as you have a few beers in your refrigerator I
can do or say whatever I want...forever.
Poker at my house, everybody! Who's in?
Mortimer M. Moneybags III
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