By M.N. Gordon
March 27, 2012
“Depicting the intoxicating political consequences of Lord Keynes’s discovery, the wry cartoonist of the Washington Times Herald drew a memorable picture. In the center, sitting on a throne in front of a maypole, was a jubilant FDR, cigarette tilted up almost vertically, a grin on his face that stretched from ear to ear. Dancing about him in a circle, hands clasped together, their faces glowing with ecstasy, the braintrusters, vested in academic robes, sang the magical incantation, the great discovery of Lord Keynes: ‘WE OWE IT TO OURSELVES.’
“With five talismanic words, the planners had disposed of the problem of deficit spending. Anyone thenceforward who worried about an increase in the national debt was just plain ignorant of the central insight of modern economics: What do we care how much we ~ the government ~ owe so long as we owe it to ourselves? On with the spending.”
1. Always take what’s yours…plus a little bit more. You’ll undoubtedly need it with Barack Obama in office for another term.2. Never shake hands with your right hand, without first crossing the fingers of your left hand securely behind your back.3. Always look out for No. 1, save stepping in No. 2.4. Never give a beggar your pocket change, except when to do so is to buy them a drink.5. Know the difference between honesty with yourself and honesty with others. The former must be rigorous; the later must be flexible…especially when applying for insurance.6. Never kick a man when he is down; so too, never hasten to help him up.7. Always stiff your waitress…barring the rare occasion they actually earn the tip.8. Never con widows and orphans; all others are fair game.9. Do not worry about money; what you don’t have should be of little concern.10. Never forget that there’s a fool on every corner and a sucker born every minute. Avoid being one of them when at all possible; for it is both demoralizing and expensive.11. Do not take it personal when you lose your job…this economy stinks; a lot of other good people will have lost theirs too.12. Remember always that this too shall pass; though never fast enough. So keep your head up. For even during a depression the birds still sing, the flowers still bloom, and those of sound mind and body get through it a little wiser…if not a lot slimmer.