THE SENATOR GOES HOME

While walking down the street one day

 a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies.

His soul arrives in heaven 

and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

“Welcome to heaven,” says St. Peter.

“Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. 

We seldom see a high official around these parts,

you see, so we’re not sure what to do with you.”

“No problem, just let me in,” says the man.

“Well, I’d like to, but I have orders from higher up. 

What we’ll do is have you spend one day in hell 

and one in heaven.  

 Then you can choose where to spend eternity.”

“Really, I’ve made up my mind. 

I want to be in heaven,” says the senator.

“I’m sorry, but we have our rules.”

And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator 

and he goes down, down, down to hell. 

The doors open and he finds himself in the middle 

of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse 

and standing in front of it are all his friends

and other politicians who had worked with him.

Everyone is very happy and in evening dress.

They run to greet him, shake his hand, 

and reminisce about the good times they had

while getting rich at the expense of the people

They play a friendly game of golf and 

then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne.

Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy 

who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. 

They are having such a good time that

before he realizes it, it is time to go.

Everyone gives him a hearty farewell 

and waves while the elevator rises…

The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens

on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.

“Now it’s time to visit heaven.”

So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls

moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing.

They have a good time and, before he realizes it,

the 24 hours have gone by and 

St. Peter returns.

“Well, then, you’ve spent a day in hell and another in heaven.

Now choose your eternity.”

The senator reflects for a minute, then he answers: 

“Well, I would never have said it before,

I mean heaven has been delightful, 

but I think I would be better off in hell.”

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator 

and he goes down, down, down to hell.

Now the doors of the elevator open 

and he’s in the middle of a barren land 

covered with waste and garbage.

He sees all his friends, dressed in rags,

picking up the trash and putting it in black bags

as more trash falls from above.

The devil comes over to him 

and puts his arm around his shoulder.

“I don’t understand,” stammers the senator.

“Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course

and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, 

drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. 

Now there’s just a wasteland full of garbage 

and my friends look miserable.

What happened?”

The devil looks at him, smiles and says,

“Yesterday we were campaigning.. .

…and today you voted.”

–author unknown