In a May 16th blog entry on the CDC.gov website (http://blogs.cdc.gov/publichealthma...), author Ali S. Khan asks the question,
The CDC has apparently been listening to my hip-hop song Vaccine Zombie (http://www.naturalnews.com/vaccine_...) and decided to run with the concept. Vaccines, of course, are the real source of zombies because they eat your brain (and cause autism, too). For some reason, the CDC didn't mention that...
GOVERNMENT PREPAREDNESS TIPS...
MUCH LIKE MILITARY INTELLIGENCE
Some of the strategies include preparing all your "important documents" such as your passport and birth certificate. This is obviously based on the idea that you are going to be relocated and will probably end up as a refugee of some sort (in a FEMA camp, no doubt). So remember to bring your birth certificate. Of course, if you don't actually have a birth certificate, you can always use Photoshop to create one from a collage of random scanned documents and no one will notice the difference these days. Not even the mainstream media.
Not surprisingly, the CDC also strongly suggests that you should bring your medications with you, because of course the entire U.S. public has already been infected with a zombie-like medical mythology that causes them to believe the human body is somehow deficient in prescription drugs. Without their meds, people think they might die! Although there are a few cases where this is true, by and large medications harm far more people than they help. But that's another story...
CDC: DO NOT DEFEND YOURSELF
AGAINST THE ATTACKING ZOMBIES
But the CDC says nothing about weapons. Not even a basic combat knife or a 22 pistol to keep handy. I guess the idea of people preparing for emergencies with some citizen weaponry isn't something the government wants to encourage, huh? Just be sure to have your papers in order but not your personal safety.
Instead, the CDC says it will save you. "Never Fear ~ CDC is Ready!" it says. It goes on to explain:
Gee, is there any doubt this is a government plan? Don't protect yourself, folks, the government will save you! Grab your passport (they'll be checking your papers at police checkpoints) and remember your meds (because that will keep you docile and suggestible), but don't bring anything like a 45-caliber Glock pistol that might actually help you fend off the zombies. Or a pump action Remington 12 gauge with a couple hundred extra rounds of home defense shells. Seriously, you can't have a zombie invasion without a 12 gauge shotgun being involved, can ya? Or some 40mm grenade launchers. That's how you really take out a bunch of zombies. At least that's how it works in Hollywood.
If you're in a city where you're not allowed to own firearms, you can always try to fight off the zombies with golf clubs. That never works out very well in the zombie movies, however. Just so you know.
One enterprising inventor has strapped a chainsaw to the underside of an AR-15 and developed the ultimate zombie-killing weapon: The AR-15AZ (Anti-Zombie) device, which he demonstrates on a collection of pumpkins in a video you'll find on this page: http://mazurland.typepad.com/mywebl...
All he needs now is to add a flamethrower, and he's all set.
CDC HAS LOST ALL CREDIBILITY
AND NOW RESORTS TO B-MOVIE FICTIONS
TO PUSH ITS PROPAGANDA
On top of that, the former head of the CDC, Julie Gerberding ~ who was also one of the top disease mongers pushing vaccines over the last few years ~ now runs the global vaccine division for Merck. How's that for a revolving door between the CDC and the vaccine makers? (http://www.naturalnews.com/027789_D...)
So now the CDC is basically a joke to anyone really paying attention to health and infectious disease. We now know that almost everything coming out of the CDC's press office is a politically motivated, profit-driven fabrication designed to push useless vaccines or scare people into thinking they're about to be killed by some other mutating flu virus.
But at least the CDC's preparedness advice offers tidbits of real value: Have an emergency kit with food, water, tools and first aid. That's more than what President Obama says. In response to the Fukushima meltdown ~ which has now been confirmed to be a far worse disaster than Chernobyl, with multiple core meltdowns ~ Obama told Americans to not prepare at all! (http://www.naturalnews.com/031735_O...)
Just listen to the government and await instructions, he said. That's the official White House preparedness plan. If you can even call it a plan.
The NaturalNews preparedness plan is a far better choice if you want to survive what's coming. Because, as you'll see below, a zombie apocalypse actually isn't as far-fetched as it sounds.
WHY A ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE
MAY BE MORE REAL THAN YOU THINK
In other words, they still manage to dress themselves, eat some food, use the toilet and punch a time card working some government job, but behind the apparent human face, they are already 50% zombie.
It won't take much to push these near-zombies over the edge into total zombiehood. A bit of radiation, a couple more winter flu shots, or even a series of neurologically-engineered red flashes broadcast on the evening news could activate the zombie brains of the American masses, causing them to spill out into the streets in their underwear, with Doritos crumbling down the front of their wife beater T-shirts, mouths gaping wide open as they stumble down the sidewalks of America's suburbs looking for fresh flesh to feed upon.
This part is not fiction, by the way. I'm serious about this.
The zombie mind of the masses has already been prepped by mercury poisoning, pesticides, fluoride, aspartame and other chemical exposures. It will only take the right trigger to unleash the zombie masses, at which point you will definitely wish you went beyond the CDC's silly advice and got yourself a 12 gauge (or a really good pair of sneakers with which to flee).
And then suddenly you're a zombie and you'll be roaming the streets of a large American city looking for fresh flesh, much like a Congressman or the head of the IMF.
TRUTHFULLY, WE NEED MORE FICTION
I think other U.S. departments should take a cue from the CDC and start writing fictions to explain all their actions. It would be a lot more entertaining and, in a strange way, actually more honest. The White House, of course, has a huge head start in this realm going all the way back to George W. Bush and his "war on terror" ~ which is the intellectual equivalent to the CDC's "zombie apocalypse."
Both are entirely imaginary, yet useful as metaphors for the weak-minded.
The bottom line is that you and I should always be prepared to protect ourselves not only from unexpected events but also from the government's bizarre, distorted attempts to feed our brains conveniently processed tidbits of disinformation.
And if zombies really do hit the streets, bring out your flamethrower and get to work like a contestant in a flame-broiled frying contest. Somebody has to save humanity during the next outbreak of mental madness, and it sure won't be the CDC.