By
Madison Ruppert
If
you thought the criteria for suspicious
activity in terms of potential terrorism couldn’t get any more broad and
ludicrous, prepare to be taken aback. The culture of citizen spying
and pervasive paranoia in the United
States is getting to the point of patent absurdity, yet
somehow many American nonsensically seem to continue to treat it as gospel.
According
to a document entitled “Terrorism Awareness and Prevention: Participant Guide”
distributed by the New Jersey Office of Homeland Security & Preparedness
(which you can see embedded below), almost every single action should be
treated as suspicious.
These include glances, wide open eyes, cold penetrating stares, trance-like gazes, exaggerated yawning when engaged in conversation, protruding or beating neck arteries, repetitive touching of face, tugging on or covering ears, increased breathing rate, panting, excessive fidgeting, clock watching, head turning, pacing or jumpiness, trembling, unusual perspiration, goose bumps, and/or rigid posture with minimal body movements and arms close to sides.
In
other words, if you’re late for something or in a rush (“excessive fidgeting,
clock watching”), you might be a terrorist.
If
you’ve been exercising (“increased breathing rate, panting,” “protruding or
beating neck arteries”), you might be a terrorist.
On
the other hand, if you’re tired (“trance-like gaze,” “exaggerated yawning”) you
also might be a terrorist.
Yet,
if you’re energetic or perhaps drank too much coffee (“wide open ‘flashbulb
eyes,’” “pacing or jumpy,” “trembling,” “unusual perspiration,” “excessive
fidgeting”), you might also be a terrorist.
You’d
better not be too energetic, too tired, in a rush, plagued by a wide range of
medical conditions, returning from exercise, or generally display almost any
bodily behaviors as someone might consider you a suspicious person and report
you for possible terrorist activity.
But
it doesn’t stop there! Other suspicious activities when it comes to vehicles
are “unusual behavior,” which is undefined and could mean just about anything,
“signs of fear or stress,” or “refusal or disregard of directions.”
It
gets even more insane when they go over signs which make a vehicle itself
suspicious. These include, “Unusual items clearly visible inside or attached to
the outside [of the vehicle],” “stopped or parked in strange or out-of-place
locations,” “parked close to agency assets such as terminals, rail lines and
bridges,” “missing or altered license plates,” “visibly overloaded or sagging.”
This
means that the ultimate potential terrorist might be someone who has a brand
new truck with temporary tags overloaded with paint removal equipment or
anything else “unusual” or with an off-road driving kit on the outside who
happens to be stopped in an “out-of-place” location, perhaps in order to go
hiking, or maybe parked near a bridge, perhaps to remove graffiti.
Keep
in mind that I ~ and I’m sure most other thinking people ~ could come up with
hundreds of different situations that fit all of the above criteria yet are wholly
innocuous.
Also,
any “unexpected mail from a foreign country” should be treated as suspicious,
along with any packages with restrictive markings like “personal or
confidential” and anything which is “poorly printed” with “excessive tape or
string” and “misspelled names,” among other laughable indicators of
suspiciousness.
Continuing
on with some ridiculous examples of “suspicious activity” are people who are
“drawing or taking pictures in areas not normally of interest,” “taking notes
or annotating maps,” or even just “sitting in a parked vehicle.”
Some
choice tools used by terrorists for surveillance, according to the New Jersey
Office of Homeland Security, are: “Cameras ~ video, still or panoramic,”
“laptop computers or PDA’s (Personal Data Assistants),” “diagrams or maps,”
“binoculars or other vision-enhancing devices,” and “GPS (Global Positioning
System) Devices.”
Apparently,
the government even considers “Staring or quickly looking away from personnel”
and “Vehicles entering parking areas or leaving designated facilities” to be
indicators of possible terrorist activity.
The document encourages people to
report everything they see
and they make a point of emphasizing
that,
“Staying alert is NOT paranoia.”
Contrary
to all of the information they give previously, they claim, “No one is asking
for block wardens who log every activity in their neighborhood or workplace. No
one wants you to spy on people. This isn’t about informing on ‘disloyal’
Americans or people who are ‘different’ or don’t fit in.”
That
is, of course, unless you display any of the massive list of behaviors which
marks you as a possible terrorist.
Hilariously,
they even claim that if a UPS truck drives down a street three times during the
holidays and they have several delivery trucks making different deliveries, it
might be a terrorist.
They
cite Timothy McVeigh who allegedly rented a truck to carry out the Oklahoma
City bombing, even though McVeigh’s vehicle was allegedly a rented Ryder truck,
not a UPS truck which is not available for public rental.
So,
if you’re lost or trying to find a parking spot in a truck, you’d better be
aware of the fact that someone might report you as a potential terrorist.
With
this culture of voluntary surveillance expanding into the world of smart phones,
it will only be easier for the government to encourage people to report any and
all activity as suspicious and potential indicators of terrorism.
If
you come across similarly ludicrous guidelines and recommendations, please do
not hesitate to send them my way so I can cover them.
Did
I miss anything or would you like to submit some of your own original writing
or perhaps send a story tip or some other information my way? Email me at Admin@EndtheLie.com
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