Wednesday 31 December 2008


I was sent the following images from Gaza earlier this evening.
You will not see them on the controlled propaganda media.
WARNING: Do NOT HAVE children nearby when you look at these.
Have a puke bucket and a box of tissues beside you.
You may need them both.

This is what is happening in Gaza while we "celebrate" the beginning of 2009.

Personally, I see nothing to celebrate tonight.
Not a damn thing.
Our war loving Prime Minister supports these atrocities.
As a Canadian, I am shamed.
As a human being I am shocked and in tears.

Saturday 14 June 2008


I have not been blogging for some time now but THIS is something I cannot let go by without putting it up. If only ONE person reads this, it is worth the risk.

03-02-2005, 03:15 PM

Despite a natural human tendency to be shocked into silence by the sheer number of dead and injured across Asia on 26 December 2004, and despite also being slightly fearful of losing personal credibility because of the magnitude of the apparent crime, there are many provable irregularities in the official American tsunami story that simply have to be recorded now, or forever be lost in the sands of time.

It is beyond any doubt that a giant tidal wave (tsunami) smashed its way through South and South East Asia, and still had enough legs to continue all the way across the Indian Ocean to Africa, where it killed and injured a few hundred more. So the only question we must ask, is whether this tsunami was a natural or man-made catastrophe? A natural event would be horrifying enough, but if the tsunami was man-made, then we are unquestionably looking at the biggest single war crime in global history.

To make any sense at all of the irregularities, we must start at the very beginning, and then follow the course of events as they unfold, especially events in the immediate vicinity of the real tsunami epicenter, because the latter is quite different from the location being remorselessly peddled by the New York Times and CNN.

At midday local Australian time I faithfully recorded the magnitude and position plotted by the Jakarta Geophysical Office in Indonesia. An earthquake measuring 6.4 on the Richter scale had hit the north of the Indonesian island of Sumatra. The Jakarta Geophysical Office meticulously noted that the epicenter of the event was located 155 miles south-southwest of Aceh Province.
This location is approximately 250 miles south of the position later selected by the American NOAA, which plotted the epicenter to the north-west of Aceh, and initially claimed a Richter reading of 8.0. Alas, even that was not enough to cover the damage caused by this extraordinary event, so NOAA progressively upgraded the reading to 8.5, then to 8.9, and finally to 9.0 - at least for the present.

So, the first proven irregularities were peddled by American officials at the NOAA, who suddenly invented a new 'flexible' peak seismic wave for the event, of far greater magnitude than Jakarta, when the Jakarta office was located much closer at almost point-blank range. Believe me when I tell you there is no such thing as the new 'flexible' peak claimed by NOAA. The first seismic peak you record is the only real peak, unless of course you later manually draw in a few more peaks of your own, to match a contrived agenda. Naturally there is also only one epicenter, which was faithfully recorded by dozens of Indonesian and Indian seismographs.

Quite apart from the huge disparity in Richter values, the Indonesians and Indians were disturbed to find that the normal earthquake 'preamble' was missing from their seismograph charts. All this means is that the normal steadily increasing number of transverse shear "S" waves that always precede an earthquake were missing, as were later aftershocks, which likewise always accompany a naturally occurring or Tesla standing-wave generated earthquake. There were 'warnings' of aftershocks from the NOAA, but none actually eventuated.

To simplify matters for non-technical readers, an earthquake is always triggered by a resonant electromagnetic frequency in the range 0.5 to 12 Hertz, but it is not an instant process, because the resonant frequency must be precise. Thus as true resonance approaches, the fault line starts to tremble like a piece of rope under tension, and sends out warnings to the seismographs in the form of steadily increasing transverse shear waves.

If all you get is a cluster of "P" compression waves, then you are almost certainly looking at an underground or sub sea explosion. These were in fact the only copious seismic signals that the Indonesians and Indians received, and they looked curiously similar to those generated many years ago by large underground nuclear weapons in Nevada.

We will return later to the relatively simple task of delivering a multi-megaton thermonuclear weapon to the bottom of the Sumatran Trench, and then detonating it with awesome effect, but right now we need to return to our initial task of following the trail of events and inexplicable irregularities. First we must travel south to the distant desert island of Australia, currently ruled by an obsequious Wall Street toady known as Little Johnny Howard. To the intense displeasure of many of his Australian "subjects", Little Johnny never makes a move outside Australia unless he first receives explicit instructions from one of his New York minders. Remember this reality, because it is extremely important in terms of what Australia did next.

On the morning of 27 December, the Australian (New York owned) media was making it very clear that the most badly hit nation in the region was Sri Lanka, an island at the southern tip of India, which like Australia is a member nation of the British Commonwealth. Accordingly, Tim Costello, head of one of Australia's largest charities, made immediate plans to fly to the area and assess the need for aid. But that same morning, Little Johnny was dancing to a very different tune, which, based on his known subservience, must have been playing down his secure telephone line from Wall Street.

In true covert manner, Little Johnny secretly dispatched two RAAF Hercules transport planes packed with supplies to Malaysia on "Stand By", and directed two more to Darwin in Australia's north. Please note that if Little Johnny had any humanitarian concerns at all, all four Hercules could have flown directly to Commonwealth partner Sri Lanka, where every other Australian had already been told by the media that aid was needed. But no, it wasn't to be, and Little Johnny waited patiently for orders from New York.

The waiting period was short, and after a high-flying reconnaissance jet confirmed that the runway was clear at Medan in eastern Sumatra, all four Australian Hercules complete with troops, guns and other tackle, invaded Sumatra just south of the devastated province of Aceh. In turn, with 90% of its population killed by the tsunami, Aceh might perhaps one day soon become Indonesia's very own Guantanamo Bay, crawling with hundreds of heavily armed Australians and Americans.

Remember carefully though, at the time these four Hercules touched down in Medan, the ordinary Australian public still had no idea that Sumatra was badly hit. Only Little Johnny knew, and of course his trusty crystal ball in New York. To hell with Sri Lanka, his bosses wanted a main base for the huge reconstruction contracts in Asia, designed to replace the failed oil theft and reconstruction in Iraq, and keep poor old Zion on its tottering New York legs for a few more weeks or months.

In the end, what the hell did it matter how many Goyim had to die? And, hey, on the credit side they'd already managed to kill more than 100,000 Muslims in Sumatra with a single tidal wave, which was partial payback for their own resounding defeats in Afghanistan and Iraq. Needless to say the Australians were merely the advance party, soon to be joined by a curiously well prepared and equipped U.S. Military, though it is doubtful that any of the officers and men involved really comprehended what is going on. Only a handful thought to question why they had been spending a whole year training for a "Humanitarian Mission", when the whole point of the U.S. Navy and Marine Corps is normally to kill people in very large numbers. Just look at Fallujah, people, look at Fallujah.

As if by magic, the Pentagon managed to have two battle groups ready to sail at an instant's notice from Hong Kong and Guam during the normally chaotic Christmas to New Year period. Crikey! Military discipline has come a hell of a long way since my day, when everyone including the ship's cat was sleeping it off at some highly questionably hostelry or another. Not these 10,000+ Americans though, who must have been standing rigidly to attention beside their hammocks day and night, tugging furiously at their forelocks whenever an officer of NCO came in sight.

The next bit was superbly orchestrated, because it took place at sea, far away from the prying eyes of dock spies or imaginary KGB agents. But oops, first you have to know who was involved. Out of Hong Kong rushed team one, comprised of the nuclear-powered USS Abraham Lincoln and her escort vessels, while the far more interesting team two rushed out of Guam, led by the USS Bonhomme Richard, a marine amphibious assault carrier crammed to the gunwales with gun-toting wooden tops. And that is not all; believe me, because the Bonhomme Richard is in fact leading a veritable armada known as "Expeditionary Strike Group 5".

Flagship USS Bonhomme Richard is accompanied by the U.S.S. Duluth, an amphibious transport dock vessel; the USS Rushmore, a landing ship dock; the guided missile cruiser USS Bunker Hill, guided missile destroyer USS Milius, and the guided missile frigate USS Thach. To take care of the underwater side of things they are joined by the nuclear hunter-killer submarine USS Pasadena, while the U.S. Coast Guard's high-endurance cutter Munro is also tagging along, presumably to deal with Asian Customs and Excise.

Now then, though 'Strike Group 5' may be toting enough nuclear weapons to destroy half of the known world, and the title is perhaps lacking when viewed from a strictly humanitarian perspective, engineer chief Staff Sgt. Julio C. Dominguez says otherwise: "The Marine Service Support Group has been preparing for a humanitarian mission of this type for about 12 months now, and is more prepared for an actual mission". Well, OK chief, but didn't you ask why you were being trained for a mysterious humanitarian mission a year before it actually happened, especially when your day job is normally shooting Muslims full of holes?

The really sneaky (inexplicable) bit came as both battle groups entered the Indian Ocean. The USS Abraham Lincoln looked about as innocent as a carrier with 70 attack planes can look, but was already carrying 2,000 marines instead of her normal complement of around 500. That is a huge amount of grunt firepower to put on the deserted streets of Banda Aceh, especially when Wall Street normally expects these marines to die quietly for Zion in Iraq. Now then, how did they know the extra marines would be needed before team one left Hong Kong, because the surplus 1,500 marines were certainly not just standing around on Kowloon dock waiting to hitch a ride.

Then while the two battle groups (apparently) headed in two different directions across the deserted Indian Ocean, an even stranger event took place. Though Expeditionary Strike Group 5 (Humanitarian) was supposed to help the folks in Sri Lanka, the combat marines aboard the USS Bonhomme Richard transferred to amphibious transport dock vessel U.S.S. Duluth, which then split from ESG-5 and headed towards team one. So without the Indonesians really being aware of it, the (relatively) harmless and Bulky aircraft carrier USS Abraham Lincoln has been used to screen the arrival of at least 3,500 heavily-armed US Marines in tiny Aceh Province.

That more or less brings us up to date on known military activity, though yesterday an Australian television cameraman did accidentally film some of these heavily-armed US Marines (who tried to shoo him away), searching a devastated Indonesian military base for any remaining weapons. Now call me old-fashioned, but if these guys and their bosses are straight, that particular job should be left to the Indonesian Army?

I will be circumspect as to exactly how a large American thermonuclear weapon managed to arrive at the bottom of the Sumatran Trench, though all of the seismic evidence and preparedness for the resulting mission indicates strongly that this is the case. After all, we are back to the age-old question of "who benefits?", and in this particular case, "Who is insane enough to kill more than 150,000 civilians just to hang on to power?' Based on their past performance in Iraq and other luckless countries, it would seem that the only realistic candidates are Wolfowitz and company, striving as always to create a "One World Government".

Certainly no other nuclear powers including Russia and China stand to gain anything at all from such an outrageous mass murder, so, as always in the end, we come back to Sherlock Holmes via the pen of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle: "When you have ruled out the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, is the truth."

For the Zionist Cabal, obtaining a thermonuclear weapon in America is no great trick, especially when we have the precedent of 100 small 'decommissioned' air-to-air atomic warheads being smuggled out the Pentagon's (civilian) back door, to form the core of the Jewish State's current nuclear arsenal. Once a weapon system is out date and out of service, loyal uniformed US military personnel can no longer track it.

Those who wish to understand how such a seemingly small weapon could rattle a 20,000 feet-deep oceanic trench, and then force a giant tsunami right across the Indian Ocean, would do well to look at the diagram of the famous 'Dambusters' attacking the German dam below, most of which is self-explanatory.

The designer of the RAF's bouncing bomb (actually called "Highball") was a scientist called Barnes Wallace, who had already gained a formidable reputation with his Wellington bomber, which he constructed geodetically, thus enabling it to absorb enormous punishment before actually being shot out of the sky. Many Wellington returned to base literally in tatters, while many luckless cousins like the Stirling and Halifax were all too often consigned to the murky deep of the North Sea.

Wallace knew that bombing the dams vertically was a complete waste of time, and the only possibility of success lay in placing a mine hard up against the dam wall at its base. You see, water cannot be compressed, meaning that if the mine was pressed against the dam wall at the moment of detonation, part of its energy would automatically be expended on the wall itself. Too far away in the relatively shallow water, and most of the blast energy would be lost to atmosphere, in a huge exploding cloud of water of course.

Though it was obvious that the dam wall could not be destroyed by a single bomb from a single Lancaster bomber (it would weight far too much for the aircraft to get off the ground), Wallace pinned his hopes on the scientific fact that cumulative stress should do the job, and he was proved right. Though officially three of the bombs, each containing 6,500 pounds of TNT, were considered to be direct hits, one of these veered off slightly, meaning that the giant Mohne Dam was completely breached by a total of 13,000 pounds of tri-nitro toluene.

It is the incompressibility of water in particular that matters deep down in the Sumatran Trench. At the bottom you already have 10,000 pounds of pressure per square inch pressing down on your weapon of choice, and above that weapon there is a column of water 20,000 feet tall, which is what caused the pressure in the first place. Not only that. The trench narrows at the bottom, meaning that the weapon is 'hemmed-in', with a very real chance of moving a tectonic plate if sufficient tonnage is used.

In this particular case there was no real need to shift a tectonic plate, and science suggests that if this blast had caused such an effect, several very powerful aftershocks would have occurred, as has happened with every other major earthquake in the past. But, as previously stated, and setting aside the seemingly deliberate provocative though false warnings from the American NOAA, there has not been a single aftershock which can be directly & scientifically linked to the 'event' in the Sumatran Trench at 0758 hours local on 26 December 2004. Later tremors might or might not be connected to the weapon.

To force subservience on Asia, and ensure the lion's share of incredibly lucrative reconstruction contracts, all that was needed was a very large tsunami targeted on the selected nations, which was easily within the capabilities of a large thermonuke. There is nothing new about "Sea Bursts" as they are called, and more than 30 years ago plans existed in both America and Russia to wipe out each other's coastal cities using exactly this technique. The tidal wave from a deep sea burst is relatively clean, allowing the aggressor to take over both land and remaining buildings etc. with the minimum of delay.

If everything had gone to plan, then Indonesia, Sri Lanka and India would have been in hock to the IMF and World Bank for thirty or more years - time enough to wait for the price of oil to come down again after the lethal fiasco in Iraq. At the same time, if the Indian Government had taken the bait, the deadly Russian-Chinese-Indian-Brazilian coalition would have been dead in the water. Not a bad day's work for a single thermonuclear weapon discreetly removed from the decommissioning process.

There are those who may claim that I have 'left out' the giant ExxonMobil gas fields in Aceh, but that is not the case. Certainly they are very productive sub-surface fields, and will unquestionably produce lots of gas again once the surface equipment has been repaired, but in isolation they are completely incapable of saving the New Zion from collapse. Wall Street needs giant reconstruction contracts, and plenty of them.

If I remember correctly, shortly before Christmas I received a large number of emails from various people about some "German Guy", who apparently claimed that Wolfowitz had got hold of a critical weapon and was going to nuke Houston on either the 26 or 27 of December. I never did read the whole email, but it seems very likely that it was initially circulated by Wolfowitz or one of his ilk, as a classic disinformation distraction. Try something along the lines of "You suckers all watch Houston very carefully on 26 December, while I nuke Asia behind your backs."

Update 6 Jan 2005

Tsunami 'Just Missed' India's Top Fighter Jets & Nuclear Power Station

India's nuclear reactor at Chennai in Tamil Nadu State flanked on either side by state-of-the-art hyper performance Sukhoi SU 30 jets, which should have been vulnerably situated in the Nicobar Islands front-line when the tsunami roared north from the Sumatran Trench. India has a major air force base on the Island of Car Nicobar, which guards the front line of Indian airspace in the Bay of Bengal. This base was being upgraded as 'home' to 25 of the IAF's Russian Sukhoi SU 30 jets, every one of which is capable of firing both the Sunburn and Onyx Mach 2.0+ sea skimming anti-ship missiles.

The Sukhoi squadrons were due to arrive in Car Nicobar on 14 December, but had to be delayed because of construction work, which is extremely ironic. Despite the tidal wave roaring over the island and breaking up the runways, India still has its incredibly valuable SU 30 hyper performance planes, now situated on the mainland fully armed, and within striking range of both US Battle Fleets currently in the Indian Ocean.

"We will have the fighters operating from the base within six months," a determined Air Chief Marshal S Krishnaswamy said as he assessed the damage caused to the [Car Nicobar] base. "In a year's time we will make the base fully operational. The problem is of transporting each and every construction material by ships and planes again to this place. The material included even the concrete which we have to lay on the runway."

There could also have been a major catastrophe at Chennai in Tamil Nadu, India's southernmost state and home to its fast breeder nuclear reactor. About another 0.2 on the Richter Scale, and the world (India in Particular) would very likely have been facing a second Chernobyl - yet another catastrophic 'spin-off' from the Sumatran Trench event. Fortunately, as if by fate, the tidal wave damaged only the cooling water inlets, which play no part in the nuclear process.

As I post this update in the early hours of 6 January, Bloomberg has very kindly just confirmed the transfer of power from Expeditionary Strike Group 5 (humanitarian duties only), to the USS Abraham Lincoln battle group off Aceh. Now not one but both massive assault landing carriers are bound for poor old Indonesia and its 110,000,000 Muslim citizens...

"The USS Bonhomme Richard and USS Duluth today arrived in Sumatran waters and airlifted more than 200,000 pounds (90,000 kilograms) from two warehouses for distribution to areas unreachable by road, the U.S. embassy in Jakarta said in an e- mailed statement. The ships carry 25 helicopters each and more than doubled the number of U.S. aircraft to carry aid. “

Update 4 February 2005
Condoleeza Rice's Unbelievably Arrogant "Profitable" Tsunami

At a recent Senate Foreign Relations Committee hearing on her appointment by Bush to the post of Secretary of State, Condoleeza Rice declared that the tsunami constituted "a wonderful opportunity to show not just the US government, but the heart of the American people." "And I think it has paid great dividends for us," she added.

The French Government has shown an interest in this unbelievably arrogant gaffe, with a former director of the French Government "Centre National de la recherché Scientifique" putting to bed any notion that the tsunami was a 'natural event'. The author, physicist Dr Jean Pierre Petit, provides some excellent photographs of American-occupied Diego Garcia, and predicts a very chilling future for America, if a similar 'natural event' should accidentally happen in the Canary Islands.

Part 1 ( part 2 (

at the very least it's an interesting read.

Wednesday 6 February 2008


Fresh off his triumphant performance as himself in The Passion of Christ (there was even a Best Supporting Actor buzz for the role), the Devil, a long-time Hollywood insider, was finally getting his due. Caught in a rare unguarded moment after a hard night's partying with Mick Jagger, Prince William and George Bush, the Devil proved to be a genial, accessible interview. Although much of what he says is quite accurate, he is, however, the Prince of Liars. Read at your own risk.

So what do you prefer to be called? Satan? Lucifer? Beelzebub? How about Bub?

THE DEVIL: Chief is good.

OK, Chief. What do you have to say to those who don't believe in you?

DEVIL: Nothing. No hard feelings. I prefer anonymity. I've learned to postpone gratification, as it were. I'm a "behind the scenes" type, anyway. The primal conspiracy, if you prefer. A silent partner. If they don’t believe in me, I can ~ ahem~ work “miracles”. But surely you have seen some of my wonderful work over in the Middle Eastern war arena? Surely my “dirty bombs” are a work of pure genius!

I will get to the latter part of your statement another time, but for now, speaking of scenes, when did you first get interested in film?

DEVIL: I was there from the very beginning. I let a few classics slip through in the beginning so as not to arouse suspicion, but it turned out to be a good move.

Such as?

DEVIL: Oh, Ben Hur, The Ten Commandments, So Moses was Born, Wuthering Heights, Citizen Kane, all that. I teased them with drama. Although I can take no credit for the development of the actual art form, I did see it as an opportunity for great evil and human suffering, which, of course is one of my particular delights.

What do you mean?

DEVIL: Well, you have a situation where the viewer must suspend their disbelief, or pretend as it were, and I saw that if I could manipulate the content, I could have masses of entertained viewers going to hell in a proverbial bucket of popcorn. With extra butter to fatten them up.

What type of movie seems to work the best for you? Horror? Pornography? Action?

DEVIL: Romance. I must admit they all serve a great purpose towards my goal. Pornography is one of my greatest inventions! But for now, Romance holds the crown.


DEVIL: No question. You see, (takes sip of water) Man, what I could get for a glass of this where I come from! Movies about evil do not help my cause. They are much too transparent. No one in their right mind wants to confront pure evil. I personally supervise the making of every romance, or chick flick, as they are sometimes called.

Um, what is the connection? I don’t get it.

DEVIL: Hopefully you won't! What I try to accomplish in a romance movie such as Sleepless in Seattle or You've Got Mail or The Mirror Has Two Faces, and the list goes on and on, is a presentation of love, at least the human expression of it, which is both irresistible and unattainable at the same time. The old carrot and the donkey idea. Since belief is already suspended, my job is just that much easier. I even have lovers traveling through time to make up for their past shoddy behavior. There's no limit to a guilty man's ingenuity, or my imagination. It's a winning combination. It is fortunate that this fluff also adapts well to the mainstream television. Those who do not go to movies are indoctrinated at home watching “harmless” sitcoms!

Are there any recent movie scenes you are particularly proud of?

DEVIL: I've ruined many relationships with the last scene of The Mirror Has Two Faces where the guy is running desperately through the streets of the city, calling out, trying to save their love, in the rain, I might add. Tears of heaven! Every woman who sees it thinks, "I wish a man loved me that way and I'm pretty sure it's not this jerk sitting next to me!" And, just for good measure, I always make religious characters look a little silly or nutty. You see?


DEVIL: What could be better than an irresistible situation ~ which seems unquestionably good ~ yet is impossible to ever successfully attain? Dissatisfaction is the key. If I can keep every woman out there feeling like she's not being loved the way she should be and every man thinking he could never love a woman the way he ought to, then you have the makings of some classic human despair. My viewers embrace disillusionment, and its elusive remedy, like a long lost lover. It's beautiful. It just creates a big, gooey marsh of cantankerous confusion. You know you fall in love but you have to crawl out. Then I get to sit back and watch all the pitiful imbeciles trudge through it. You should see the average couple leaving a movie like this ~ both feeling a sense of complete inadequacy. It's quite amusing, actually.

So you create the ideal situation which will never happen?

DEVIL: Bingo! Movie-goers are a ripe group anyway. You just have to pick them. We all know that life is, for the most part, distasteful, right?

Um, right?

DEVIL: The very fact that they are exiting their lives for a couple of hours is a sure sign that they want something else. I give it to them all wrapped up in wine, candlelight, flesh, ribbons and bows. But the trick is to make them think that the emptiness they feel inside can be filled by another human, which, of course, it can't.

But no one I know associates love with the devil.

DEVIL: Exactly! Of course I have nothing to do with true love but I have successfully made a connection between beauty and goodness. People, especially Americans, associate beauty with goodness. And there is really no connection. Take sex for instance. Everyone thinks ~ by the way, do you know the etymology of the word "horny?" ~ what people want is intimacy, a sense of being personally connected. The more impersonal society becomes, the more tempting establishing a quick sexual connection appears. It's a short cut. But there's only one problem.

Which is?

DEVIL: The intimacy is false and neither party can go back over the bridge once it has been crossed. Don't get me wrong. The connection is real in the truest sense but I love to see the emotional confusion resulting from a too-soon consummated relationship. Feelings are so beautiful and fleeting! Shouldn't it be obvious by now? People think, "Hey! It's natural! Must be good then, huh?" But I'm never obvious. That's a four letter word where I come from. Obviousness is just exactly that. What is the one thing about God which makes no sense whatsoever?

That Dick Cheney and John Ashcroft haven’t been hit by lightning?

DEVIL: LOVE! And what does love have to do with sex? NOTHING! But what does everyone teach their kids? "Daddy? What were you and mommy doing in the bedroom?" "Well, son, when you love someone..." It has nothing to do with love. But I digress. What is it about God that makes no sense?

Go on. I guess you're going to tell me.

DEVIL: The fact that He loves ridiculous creatures such as yourself. It's been a long goal of mine to sidetrack humans in their pitiful quest for love. Look at history. I've done my best to make love nothing but an irresistible disappointment. Who do you think introduced the idea of romantic love into marriage? Rhett Butler? Did you know that I developed the zero birthday principle?

The what?

DEVIL: The zero birthday principle. On a woman's birthday, the man must do a myriad of selfless things just to get back to zero. He must get her flowers, a card, perhaps a cake, with candles, a gift which she does not need and would not buy for herself, and take her out to dinner just to get back to zero. He gets no points. None! If you see a man getting off work with balloons, a cake, flowers, and a gift with a look of despair on his face you can bet it's his girlfriend's or his wife's birthday. I love it! Then, you mix in a little pride and BOOM! A birthday celebration to remember! Then he despairs of ever making her feel as special as she needs to feel.

That's not a very flattering view of women. Are you saying they are evil?

DEVIL: Well, evil is a term I like to reserve for myself.

Why are you so interested in relationships?

DEVIL: Come on. Think. The vehicle for the greatest joy is also the vehicle for the greatest suffering. The scalpel that heals you can also kill you. It just depends on who holds it. I love fairy tales.

You do?

DEVIL: Yes. And happy endings ... provided they are only imaginary.

This makes us sound like we're just a bunch of misguided fools.

DEVIL: Your words, not mine.

Why did you agree to this interview then? Aren't you afraid you'll blow your cover?

DEVIL: Nah ~ nobody believes in old Satan anymore. I'm an antiquated idea you know, unproved as well When you claimed that God was dead, you figured I was as well. Since I am unproven by modern science, a figment of your imagination. I'm set for life. Think of it like this. You've been to church?

Of course.

DEVIL: You dress a little better, try to think pure thoughts, get in a "religious" frame of mind, say hello to everyone? Smile. Right? But you sense a pervasive dichotomy during the week. You don't feel like it's who you really are. This is what I do with romance movies. The ideal relationships on the screen, two-dimensionally, are always, and only, experienced from a distance. They can't have it. They get discouraged. They seek comfort in a relationship. I've turned the natural human desire to believe down a cul-de-sac. It's the same with church. If I can make people associate God with this dichotomous feeling, they eventually say "What's the use?"

But there are exceptions. Some do believe. Some are happily married

DEVIL: Yes. And some win the lottery. There is no solution. Society is so depersonalized and isolating that no relationship can make up for the lack of community. It will get harder as more and more is expected, less and less is attainable. And that is what I'm all about. As a friend of mine once said, "Those best suited for love desire it least." The more lonely and miserable people are, the more they want that essential connection. But the more they want it, the less they can have it. Now, romance goes unquestioned. You are lucky to be living at a time when all my work is coming together. I've got people falling in and out of love so fast they don't even have time to think. And the beautiful thing is that many make it their goal in life. At that point they don't even need me or any of my films.

But, despite your motives, many of them are still good movies.

DEVIL: I knew there was something about you I liked. But I do need to go. I'm hosting the annual singles ball in Hades tonight. My pet Arthur Brown will be performing Fire live. I was unable to book the Stones in time. But then, they served me well at Altamount. It's sure to be a pitiful plethora of un-fulfillment. After all, I am the consummate, if you'll pardon the expression, matchmaker. I'm sure you've heard the expression "opposites attract?" That's mine!

So there's love in Hell?

Satan: In Hell? No, my fine, fleshy friend. Have you not heard a word I said? Romantic love is Hell! I am doing my best to ensure this as everyone's reality and doing a fine job of it.