For all my complaining about Canadian politics and horrid lack of leadership, I still love this nation to the bottom of my heart. This weekend is not a time to pick away at politics, not a time to look at the unwanted changes we are dealing with under the current government; let us enjoy just a few days of celebration if only to remember what was and what created this nation. Let us think on the Canada we remember and want restored, we National Canadians whose ancestors built this country.
Bannock on a stick with fresh raspberry jam. Mmmm.
Nasty old Communists.
1) 100% free healthcare including liposuction, Viagra, and breast implants.
2) College degrees will be issued without the requirement of attending college.
3) All existing debts will be cancelled; nobody owes anything to anybody.
4) Unemployment benefits will be permanent and twice the minimum wage.
5) All cars will get 100 miles per gallon and their exhaust will be pure oxygen with a "fresh pine" scent.
6) Everything served in a restaurant will always be on a 99¢ value menu.
7) Fitness guidelines will be revised so that every American meets the federal definition of "hot."
8) 50 bonus points will be added to the IQ score of every American.
9) There will be no more taxes of any kind except on the Evil Rich.
10) Everyone will go to Heaven.
"The groundswell of sheer, unbridled joy in America was seismic. People were high-fiving in the streets, laughing, crying, and hugging complete strangers. It was as if the bloody and long-fought war against meritocracy had finally drawn to a victorious close.
BONUS: CONCENTRATION SUMMER CAMPS
FROM THE VAULT
Thank You, Mr. Perloff!
Mohammed Samir Obeid
Sadly, for once, this Israeli cartoonist is right.
Bring on the birds!
Now this looks darn cosy.