September 10, 2010
I have been struggling to survive.
In fact, even as an amateur writer, I have been chronicling my story into a book entitled “Shattered Illusions of my Survival”. Writing gives me an outlet to pour out my pain and suffering.
It would be great if I could somehow earn a living at writing or even public speaking and motivation to warn others what NOT to do; since I have noticed over the decades, that when I speak, people are drawn to me and want to hear what I have to say. I often analyze problems and devise solutions.
I am drawn to topics involving justice, relationships and communication whether in society or in personal situations. I once had several radio programs, did I ever tell you? In one of them, I taught a book I had written, in 13 segments or classes. I enjoy teaching people, because I have had so many tragic experiences, that I truly wish others to avoid the same pitfalls.
I need to find a way to earn a simple income in order to pay a simple rent on a small studio apartment. Because money is the solution to this dilemma of homelessness, I am desperately trying to find a way to earn money. We don’t live in a society where some benefactor will open their heart and home to me and let me live with them, perhaps as trade/barter to be their housekeeper, cook, bake and clean, or even a home secretary for them. We live in a selfish world based on money. No money, no housing.
We also live in a world that demands certain “experience” for jobs and even if I tell people I can learn the job, they don’t want to hear that. I am about your age, in my early sixties, and cannot do “standing on your feet all day” jobs; poverty and homelessness do tend to exhaust you much faster than you realize; both physically and emotionally.
If I were a wife that would be my joyful “job”; I don’t have that luxury. I have to find a way to generate money in order to end my homelessness. Some people are blessed with good family and friends for their “time in need”. Unfortunately, my family is very dysfunctional going back 4 generations and they simply do not respond to my situation as normal loving family members would ordinarily respond. Tragically, my own 5 children refuse to open their homes to let me live with them.
I have unusually harsh karma and my hardships are beyond most people’s comprehension. I have to walk several miles to just get milk. No one truly understands what I go through to survive.
One would think that the basic foundation of my family’s religion ~ Orthodox Judaism, is to help the needy, with food, clothing and shelter. Yet not one of my relatives will help me.
My family hold grudges of hatred against me for putting my children into public schools after my husband abandoned me while I was pregnant with my fifth child. He lied to me, cheated on me and stole from me, but this is okay and people overlook his misconduct. I don’t see human qualities of mercy, kindness, compassion, sympathy from my family. No, there is no support system there. This is a painful saga, and I know people tend to “blame the victim”. But others had a hand in destroying my life and putting up obstacles.
I do believe my father was either an Illuminati or something similar. He tortured me by not letting me sleep in a bed; I had to share a sofa with my sister and he would sneak in at night and shut off the heat, so we would freeze in the living room, which had 9 windows.
He did secretive mind control and hypnosis on my baby brother while he was asleep. He had a collection of books on mind control techniques and after he died I read them and realized he practiced those techniques on me and my siblings. I spent the first 7 years of my life in a crib. That is torture.
True human kindness and compassion on the part of someone would help me. I made the tragic mistake of believing the lies of a fraudulent business whose members posed as professional teachers and healers, who in reality are severely mentally ill, demonic, deranged, sociopath dangerous predators who exploited me so thoroughly that they broke me down, inflicted a heart attack on me and made me homeless.
I have not recovered since then, 12 years ago. I am now almost 62 and I don’t know how much longer I will survive this homelessness. “Unarius academy of science ~ the new world teaching center.” Those charlatans, con artists, have never been held accountable by any state or federal agency or judicial arena. They continue on with their false advertising and marketing schemes to lure more victims whether to rape them as they did to me, and/or to financially fleece them as they did to me.
They basically promise the public to heal and teach them, and then sell them useless books and classes; they have no professional licenses or degrees to teach or do therapy. It is merely a scam to defraud the public; the gullible naive unsuspecting vulnerable public. I sued them twice and the corrupt courts ignored my information and evidence.
Kindly excuse this long missive, but I don’t sleep much. I sleep about 2 hours per night so I sit in the dark and write. I am inside a store with permission of the owner. But I am still homeless, this is not a home; there is no kitchen or bathtub or shower. I do have a hot-pot for boiling soup or tea.
Stay out of California and especially San Diego; it has a peculiar evil energy grid to it. It has a “reversal energy” which most people deny, but I see it and sense it. The energy tends to magnetize certain people who are not normal in a greater proportion than I have seen anywhere else. This evokes greater pain and suffering, without any resolution. I just want my situation to end, so if you say prayers, please say one for me.
Is this genuine? Without a doubt it is very much a possibility for today's aging female populace. I have come very close to the situation she describes. I relate fully to her potential for employment. In my early sixties, I have looked for three years for work, unsuccessfully and had exactly the same results. Yet my daughters, young beautiful and bright, are, even in these days of financial woes, are offered excellent jobs without even asking ~ it is the way of things today.
However I am very fortunate. When I returned from India, sicker than sick, a few years ago, I was more or less homeless and slept in my destroyed apartment but lived at my Mother's. One more week to go and I would not have anywhere to put anything from photos to furniture ~ and too sick to care. Somehow I ended up in a very small apartment that has a view of the ocean and mountains that leaves me breathless daily.
Writers are not paid well at all. I have struggled with the idea of PAYPAL here but I just cannot go there. Knowledge should come free and be shared freely and I simply squeeze by on an allotted pittance, grateful for that.
So I can only gather Marie lives in the US where such things are not available. Why is it this way when you look at so many feral homes that people just walked away from? Something stinks here, and its name is greed.
It is truly horrific what this woman has gone through. The fact that she is Jewish was shocking because we do not expect them to wind up in this situation, but I guess if you do not toe the line then this is your fate. She mentions Orthodox and they are frequently very hard line with their beliefs so it does not surprise me that she is ignored by her family. They would feel she did it to herself and is no longer in the fold.
The upbringing she received from her father would leave her either amazingly strong or, as is usually the case, ill equipped to deal with the true evils of the world. This I know well myself also. Our generation was brought up under much stricter guidelines on the whole.
There are other stories just like this one the most notable was from Svali raised in an Illuminati family that subjected her to mind control, torture and sexual deviance. How she escaped was truly remarkable and set back the clamping down of the Illuminati by about a decade, although, alas they are back on track and she had to disappear so far underground that she lives away from any form of contact with the world.