Wednesday 14 October 2009

CLONING HOLOCAUST MARTYRS


CLONING OF HOLOCAUST MARTYRS SEEN AS THE ONLY WAY TO PRESERVE THE LEGEND OF EXTERMINATION ~ MASS PRODUCTION OF THE ELIE WIESEL MODEL TO BEGIN LATER THIS WEEK
Dr. Dooplicatem in his lab, beside his most inspirational
motivational poster as he discusses this project with us.


September 19, 2009
By Michael K. Smith
Legalienate

With the WWII generation rapidly passing into history, custodians of the official Holocaust narrative have concluded that the only way to preserve the extermination legend is to clone the remaining Holocaust martyrs while time still permits.

Proponents of the extermination thesis have long worried that the death of eyewitnesses to the Holocaust will cast undue attention on the lack of forensic evidence for mega-gas-chambers, calling into question how an assembly line of extermination could have existed without leaving behind material and documentary evidence.

The temporary solution of intimidating the public with an avalanche of tear-jerking stories has the defect of depending on mortal eyewitnesses whose testimony necessarily loses dramatic impact upon their deaths.

The "final solution" was hit upon last year by Dr. Avigdor Leibowitz at a conference of Cloners For Social Responsibility, where he proposed to "keep guilt alive" by mass producing key eyewitnesses in perpetuity, thus immortalizing exterminationist gas chambers and Holocaust martyrdom. The ambitious project is slated to kick off in just a few days with the cloning of Auschwitz survivor Elie Wiesel, who has called the effort to extend his melancholic existence unto eternity, "the thrill of my life."

This is the first successful batch of little Wiesels,
perfect in every way so far, especially in overall skin tone.

Authorization for the first run of Wiesels has been issued by the Environmental Protection Agency, which, citing the Endangered Species Act, says 500 Wiesels are needed immediately to preserve a gas chamber legend facing extinction at the hands of an unprecedented upsurge in rational skepticism throughout the world.

The situation is now widely seen to be critical, with the board of directors of the Jewish Institute of Holocaust Addicted Dogmatists (JIHAD) determining that cloned Wiesels and Holocaust museums must become as common as ATM machines, in order to hold off the rising tide of "hate speech" viciously asking for Holocaust martyrs to substantiate their factual claims.

The Wiesel clones are scheduled for international speaking tours for the next fifty years, with the revenue generated by their speeches earmarked for settlement expansion in Israel. Related plans to clone Ariel Sharon to solve the Palestinian problem are still in the planning stages, but non-partisan AIPAC lobbyists insist these efforts will soon usher in permanent Middle East peace.

In a telephone interview with Legalienate's editors yesterday, Dr. Leibowitz indicated that the cell to be used as the donor for the cloning of Wiesel will be taken from his larynx. The original plan to extract a donor cell from his brain was abandoned upon discovery that Wiesel's brain is largely disengaged when he speaks of the Holocaust, so that the actual source of his martyr testimony originates in random fluctuations of the larynx.

Due to Wiesel's advanced age, there is some concern as to whether his clones will be able to reproduce themselves, or even whether they should. After all, the real concern is not the children, but the parents, whose immortality must be preserved for the good of humanity. Clone families will thus have a different psychology from ordinary families, where the children are the vehicle for expressing the immortality of the parents.
This early group of clones was not suitable for this purpose for obvious reasons.

In clone families, on the other hand, children will likely be seen as detracting from parental efforts to immortalize the Holocaust. Child abuse could result if these children develop interests other than the Holocaust, although this threat is believed to be minimal since clones and their offspring will be required by law to live in Holocaust museums, where exposure to other themes will be exceedingly unlikely.

One technical issue that caused initial consternation is that cloning cannot re-create what comes from the environment, which means that memories of actual Holocaust survivors will have to be downloaded into the brains of the cloned martyrs after birth. Though this is not difficult technically, psychologists have expressed concern that downloading delusional beliefs could have unpleasant developmental consequences.

Mathematicians, for example, worry that those who accept that one can reduce the estimated number of deaths at Auschwitz from four million to one million without affecting the overall death toll of six million, may prove incapable of even simple math. Thus Wiesel clones could be at a severe disadvantage in making change, balancing their checkbooks, and cutting proportional slices of birthday cake.

Similarly, those who accept at face value Wiesel's writing that geysers of blood spurted from the ground for months on end in the wake of Nazi atrocities in Europe, may face insurmountable challenges in judging liquid volume, confusing a leaky faucet with a Biblical flood, trying to fill swimming pools with an eyedropper, and installing lighthouses in the bathtub so their children don't get "lost at sea."

These results of an early cloning were not suitable for this purpose due to excessive cuteness.

Some have argued for editing out such troublesome beliefs before downloading them into the clones, but others point out that it is no simple matter to separate the factual from the fantastical. For example, Wiesel simultaneously claims that his Nazi captors were the most viciously cruel monsters in all of history and that he voluntarily abandoned Auschwitz with them, avoiding liberation by the Soviet Army.

This belief would seem to be a prime candidate for editing out, as its starkly contradictory nature could produce a cerebral hemorrhage in an unwitting clone recipient, but many orthodox Holocaust proponents argue that the Wiesel brain is akin to the King James Bible, i.e., that it is the literal word of God and must not be altered even slightly.

Cloning gone bad.

Michael K. Smith is the author of "Portraits of Empire" and "The Madness of King George" (illustrations by Matt Wuerker) from Common Courage Press.

7 comments:

  1. Have a look at a typical account by one of the seemingly endless number of survivors: Olga Lengyel’s Five Chimneys: a woman survivor’s true story of Auschwitz (Granada/ Ziff-Davis, 1947, 1972).

    According to Lengyel, ‘After June, 1943, the gas chamber was reserved exclusively for Jews and Gypsies.. Three hundred and sixty corpses every half-hour, which was all the time it took to reduce human flesh to ashes, made 720 per hour, or 17,280 corpses per twenty-four hour shift. And the ovens, with murderous efficiency, functioned day and night. However, one must also reckon the death pits, which could destroy another 8,000 cadavers a day. In round numbers, about 24,000 corpses were handled each day. An admirable production record, one that speaks well for German industry.’ (Paperback edition, pp80-81). [No trace of any remains of or in ‘death pits’ has been found.]

    This implies almost 100,000 corpses per four working days, or a million in 40 days, or six million in 240 days (eight months).

    ReplyDelete
  2. Could this claim be a misprint?

    Kitty Hart, in spite of her name a Jewish survivor born in Poland, fully confirms these figures:

    ‘Working around the clock, the four units together could dispose of about 18,000 bodies every twenty-four hours, while the open pits coped with a further 8,000 in the same period.’ (p 118; Return to Auschwitz - paperback edition by Granada (1981, 1983).

    According to the cover blurb, ‘The subject of the award-winning Yorkshire television documentary of the same name.’ ‘Both engaging and harrowing…an important addition to the growing holocaust literature, very little of which conveys so courageously both the daily torment and the will to survive’ – Martin Gilbert, The Times.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Martin Gilbert, indefatigable Jewish campaigner on behalf of the ‘Holocaust’ and biographer of Winston Churchill, adds to the rich flavour and makes his own numerical claims, certainly not without chutzpah:

    In his book Auschwitz and the Allies (1981) he states

    ‘The deliberate attempt to destroy systematically all of Europe’s Jews was unsuspected in the spring and early summer of 1942: the very period during which it was at its most intense, and during which hundreds of thousands of Jews were being gassed every day at Belzec, Chelmo, Sobibor and Treblinka.’ (p.26).

    If we assume a minimum figure of 200,000 per day, this amounts to say a million a five-day working week, or 6 million in six weeks, and this does not include the truly awe-inspiring claims for Auschwitz put forward by Hart and Lengyel with Gilbert’s blessing.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Elie Wiesel vs Encyclopaedia Britannica:

    Time Magazine, March 18 1985:

    ‘How had he survived two of the most notorious killing fields [Auschwitz and Buchenwald] of the century? "I will never know" Wiesel says. "I was always weak. I never ate. The slightest wind would turn me over. In Buchenwald they sent 10,000 to their deaths every day. I was always in the last hundred near the gate. They stopped. Why?"

    Compare this with Encyclopaedia Britannica (1993), under ‘Buchenwald’:

    "In World War II it held about 20,000 prisoners.. Although there were no gas chambers, hundreds perished monthly through disease, malnutrition, exhaustion, beatings and executions."

    ReplyDelete
  5. It's now official - there's no actual shortage of Holocaust survivors:

    'The Israeli Prime Minister's office recently put the number of "living Holocaust survivors" at nearly a million' (extract from The Holocaust Industry by Norman G. Finkelstein of the City University of New York, published by Verso, London and New York, 2000, p.83).

    ReplyDelete
  6. Statement by Richard Lynn, Professor Emeritus
    University of Ulster, December 5, 2005:

    "I've checked out the six volumes of Churchill's Second World War and the statement is quite correct - not a single mention of Nazi 'gas chambers,' a 'genocide' of the Jews, or of 'six million' Jewish victims of the war.

    Eisenhower's Crusade in Europe is a book of 559 pages; Churchill's Second World War totals 4,448 pages; and De Gaulle's three-volume Mémoires de guerre is 2,054 pages.

    In this mass of writing, which altogether totals 7,061 pages (not including the introductory parts), published from 1948 to 1959, one will find no mention either of Nazi 'gas chambers,' a 'genocide' of the Jews, or of 'six million' Jewish victims of the war."

    ReplyDelete
  7. I have left a comment before, but I felt I have to elaborate on the subject. So I created an article on my blog

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    TruthSeeker

    ReplyDelete

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